Pretty Like Drugs

Oh no, I've said too much.

Dear Co-workers, One Dept At A Time

Dear Jamba Juice,

You can go fuck yourself. I hate you for stealing my coworker so I had to be the only one working for an hour and a half in the middle of an afternoon, when it’s hot out, and we have cold drink promotions going on. Get your shit together you son of a bitch.

Dear Liquor and Bakery,

I hope all of your shit gets broken. I’m going to get in trouble for not doing my job, because all of your shit is in front of all of my shit, and I can’t get to it. Put your crap where it belongs, not in front of my fucking lids you lazy-ass scumbags.

Dear 2nd Asst Manager,

You’re a fucking manager. Why the fuck are you coming to Starbucks to get rung up on your lunch break, when you see I’m BY MYSELF, and self check is empty! You are slow and I don’t like to talk to you. All you do is build a line behind you that I have to take care of. Don’t act like we’re friends, we’re not.

Dear Courtesy Clerks,

I hope you all get fired before your probation period is over. You are lazy, mouthy, and don’t understand what your place is in Safeway. You are the bitches. Your job details include, but are not limited to; Taking out the trash, mopping, cleaning up people’s shit, putting carts and hand-baskets away, and all in all doing whatever anyone else tells you to. Get it straight. Fucking class of 2010 sucks.

Dear Starbucks,

I’m sorry if I’m a grumpy butt. I cannot be held responsible for my actions. (read above)

The end.


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