Pretty Like Drugs

Oh no, I've said too much.

They know that you’re horrible


This isn’t going to be necessarily well written, but I must write none the less.

I can’t really say unexpectedly.. but surprisingly, my previous post turned into a catalyst. I finally reached the end of my rope in this dance Mike and I do. I can handle it no longer. I am over stalemating in my life. I’m over feeling lonely. Half my friends are in relationships, and the other half is dating. I could do neither. I was stuck in some kind of limbo.

I feel like a vulcan. Like just because my emotions aren’t showing people don’t think I feel them. I’ve dealt with so much crap in my life, this is how I’ve learned how to deal with it. I just turn it off. I have since I was 8. I’m still learning how to stop doing that.

So I digress.. I feel horrible. Sort of. I feel bad that I’ve made Mike feel bad. I don’t really feel bad about my choice. Mike and I are single. Which is good.

Mike has decided he’s going to move here in October. I told him I don’t want that pressure on my head. I don’t want himto move here and then when he hates it blame me. I’m not asking him to move here. But I guess he wants to. He can finish all of his school online.. So that’s good? I think. Anyway. So, Mike and I are single. Then when he moves here we’re boyfriend and girlfriend. And washed of all previous sins. We will be starting from square one. Weird right? I know. It works for me though. Like, this makes sense to me.

I just hope it works out right. Mike doesn’t deserve to have me stomp all over his heart.



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