Headaches and heart break
June 11, 2009
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I had what can be described as a very surreal night. I can’t go into detail.. I’ve only managed to get my emotions in check. Logic wins out, but not my own. Here’s the highlights.
I spoke to Kyle.. he brought up the divorce. Of course. It needs to be taken care of as soon as possible. He demands I do it myself and forward him the papers, he tells me he’ll send me any amount of money I need. I ask if he’s willing to pay out why he can’t do it himself. Apparently thems are fighting words.
Our conversation escalates to him explaining to me that the reason he is mean to me, is so that I will fight back.. as I always do.. so that he can hate me. That him still loving me is ruining his life.
In the end I give him what he needs. We will not be speaking anymore. I will be doing seperation papers as soon as is possible.
I end up having some kind of melt down. I don’t know how else to explain. Emotion and Logic were fighting and I couldn’t figure out which one was right.. That sounds retarded, but I am only human.
Someone then arrives at my house to counsel me and now my resolve is set. Along with a many other things.
Day 1 of sobriety is a success. I did not end up drinking away my problems, even though I was under severe durress. There is hope yet.