Poi poi poi poi poi poi poi .. .

So hopefully I mentioned in a previous post that I got a set of Poi! IF not, well, I did. I actually got them from HOP and I have to admit that this place is amazing and I will refer EVERYONE to them. If you put in the promotional/referal code Amber33 they will give you a discount.

Anyway so I got some poi and i’ve been playing with them nonstop. Im a total addict. I have my spins down, forward, reverse, split time and I actually even know a few moves. What’s funny is the moves I learned on my own are from jumping rope excessively as a kid. Same motion. I was always pretty damn awesome at jump rope. I still enjoy doing it.

So today I was outside practicing new techniques (thanks to the awesome-o-3000 tutorials on HOP) and I hit myself in the back of the head. My poi’s aren’t super hard so I was like whatever and kept spinning. Then I hit myself in the knee and was like OW. I pulled up my jean leg and sure as shit I have bruises all over my knee. I realized at that moment that for every time I hit myself in the head/torso, I hit myself in the knee’s 10 times. So I had to quit and that sucks.

I went to Joe’s going away party last night. It was semi-themed for the Navy.. since that’s where he’s going. I Got some pretty awesome pics too. Maybe I will put them on picasa so you can see them.

Oh yeah and Mike is officially my significant other. I’m in love and it’s wonderful.

PS: http://www.homeofpoi.com

lite brite

I want one. A giant lite brite that is. I am considering sketching up some drafts to build a large one.

Today was a long day in so many ways I really don’t want to recount all the crappy things that happened. All I will say though is that it ended on a great note. M sent me flowers at my work. Very sweet. I especially love the fact that I got to show them off. I would say I’ve definitely upgraded since the last boy I was in a serious relationship with.. which was almost two years ago. Ha.

I Also got my poi in the mail today. I played with them for about an hour before the rain got to be too much for me. I am definitely going to be spending most of my day tomorrow outside playing with them. I want to at least master the forward to reverse switch. Upper and low turns so that I can be like BA BLAM and be going in the opposite direction.

Also, jealousy is a very evil trait to posess

Hey, I’ve got nothing to do today but smile.

Listen to me

I think by far today was one of my most easiest days at work. It wasn’t that I didn’t have anything to do.. I actually had quite a bit to do. I accomplished everything and I wasn’t stressed out. Not at any point. That is a relief. I think I’m actually getting good at my job. Maybe everyone’s high expectations weren’t misplaced after all.

I might be able to go to Oregon next month. I must admit I’m very excited about that prospect. However, on that same note, for one reason or another my mother has been sneaking into my thoughts. I’m worried about her and I don’t know why. I feel like something is wrong. Hopefully I am totally mistaken about that.

However, in order to leave this blog on a good note, I wake up every morning with a smile on my face because I am loved. <3 Hopefully I can see him soon.

I was happier then..

Listen to Me

Gold teeth and a curse for this town were all in my mouth.
Only, i don’t know how they got out, dear.
Turn me back into the pet that i was when we met.
I was happier then with no mind-set.

And if you’d ‘a took to me like
A gull takes to the wind.
Well, i’d ‘a jumped from my tree
And i’d a danced like the king of the eyesores
And the rest of our lives would ‘a fared well.

New slang when you notice the stripes, the dirt in your fries.
Hope it’s right when you die, old and bony.
Dawn breaks like a bull through the hall,
Never should have called
But my head’s to the wall and i’m lonely.

And if you’d ‘a took to me like
A gull takes to the wind.
Well, i’d ‘a jumped from my tree
And i’d a danced like the kind of the eyesores
And the rest of our lives would ‘a fared well.

God speed all the bakers at dawn may they all cut their thumbs,
And bleed into their buns ’till they melt away.

I’m looking in on the good life i might be doomed never to find.
Without a trust or flaming fields am i too dumb to refine?
And if you’d ‘a took to me like
Well i’d a danced like the queen of the eyesores
And the rest of our lives would ‘a fared well.

Not forgotten, just misplaced

I haven’t forgotten you silent listener. My thoughts betray my indifference.

I’ve come to another one those crossroads in life that have no easily determined right or wrong path. I could go one way, or I could go another. Of course there are so many small details that pull me one way and then pull me another. Do I stay where I am stable? Or do I jump into something that could potentially have the greatest rewards or most dire consequences? For now, I remain still. Trying not to face the fact that a choice will need to be made before I spread myself far too thing.

I don’t hate my job, but I hate that I don’t like it either. I think this is the plight of adulthood.. but it shouldn’t be. At least, I don’t believe it should be. However, everyone has to grow up eventually. I just didn’t expect to have to until I was 30. I can’t be a woman-child forever I guess. At least not on the out side.

It’s amazing how quickly everything can change. I say that so often that I feel my life is in a constant state of flux. I think everyone’s is though. One moment you know exactly who you are and what you want out of life and then the next moment your priorities are totally different and you’re at a loss at how to proceed. I love and hate it at the same time. But then, I am a masochist, so it is to be expected.

Quick Update

I’m going to make this fast. I didn’t have internet for a month so quite few things have changed.

I got better! I’m not dead and I’m no longer sick. About 10 days into the illness it started getting better and I was working on day 13. I still don’t know what it was, and neither do my doctors, but it’s gone now.

I got a promotion! I now work in Aptos, California. I’m the Starbucks department manager inside of their Safeway.

I’ve also had my heart stolen. He’s bringing it to visit in a week.

I’m sick.

I’m sick. The doctors don’t know what’s wrong with me. And it’s progressively getting worse. It’s not cancer, so don’t go all “I’ll pray for you” bullshit. But it’s definitely something gnarly. They think it’s mononucleosis. I go back in on friday for another blood panel and lymphnode count thing. It’s painful and shitty. I have proof:

Evidence #1
Evidence #2
(Hopefully those links work)

I’ve been bed ridden since Saturday. Ive been into work twice. The first time was on saturday to pick up a prescription for strep throat and tell them I couldn’t work for a day because I was contageous. On Monday, the day I was supposed to return to work, I still had a fever so I went back to the doc and turns out their ASSUMPTION that I had strep was indeed incorrect.

Five hours of suckage in the ER and now they’re GUESSING it’s Mono. They believe it’s too early in the sickness for it to be showing in my blood. Well awesome. I go back in on friday for similar treatment. Lots of needles stuck in my veins. Oh joy.

I very well could spend all this time sleeping but I feel like shit when I wake up. My dad is awesome for constantly providing me with my much needed energy drinks and otter pops.

I’ve been playing Zelda: Twilight Princess for my GameCube (that I got in oregon) and have been thanking Mike subconsciously for buying me the memory card while we were at GameStop. If I didn’t have a way to save my many days housebound would be quite pitiful.

I’ve also been reading Questionable Content nonstop. I’ve read up to #1298 in three days. Yes, it’s fucking a good webcomic. Yes, I highly recommend it to you. Especially since Faye is my comic alter ego. Haha Sort of.

I miss being outside. I miss my friends. I miss having a life. OMG I feel like the boy in the bubble. Did I mention that my internet could be getting turned off at any time? Lucky for me I worked for a week before becoming Typhoid Amber so I get paid tomorrow. Yes, a large chunk is going to comcast for my enjoyment.

Did I mention that if I have mono I’m out for six weeks? Hello disability.

I’ll probably just spend my checks on hookers and debauchery anyway.

A weeks worth of memories..

I got home from Oregon today. From my last blog post forward my vacation managed to go a bit awry so I will keep it simple. And categorised.. sort of.

Day two in Monroe I again attempted to do the drinking thing. Jimmy and I head to Bugsys and continue the drinking escapade. It’s karaoke night and I’m stoked on it. Anyways, about 20 minutes before Karaoke starts my exhusband walks into the bar and it all goes down hill from there to say the least. I once again pursue Jameson (my black out in a bottle) and start drinking excessive amounts. I know I cried hard enough that night that my eyes were swollen the rest of the following day. That sucked. I never want to see Kyle Agard again. End of story.

The following day (now called puffy eye day) started well. Sort of. Kyle also crashed at my mothers house so I did my best to just keep on with my day. I worked a green horse for the better part of the morning. Said my goodbye’s to kyle. Then went to my cousins house. It was excellent to see Michael and Liz as they’re probably two of my best friends. Love those guys.

The day after that (thursday I believe) Liz and I go to my Aunts house.. where my grandma lived. No one was home. I went in, took a few items that no one else wanted but I absolutely did, and left.

Mike picked me up that evening and I spent the rest of my vacation with him. We picked up his homie Isaac from springfield on friday and proceeded to have a most excellent weekend of drinking and football.

There are some things I miss very deeply in Oregon and other things I never wish to face again. Hell of a vacation.

First Night in Monroe

Yesterday was my first day/night in Monroe. The town I ran amuck in since the age of sixteen. I got here, drank a few beers, shit kicked it with my mama and then called some friends. The one partner in crime who was up to the challenge (as always) is Jimmy. He picks me up and we head to Alpine.

This was the first time I have ever been in the Alpine tavern as my usual haunts in this town were the longbranch and the corner stone. So we get to the Alpine tavern and the whiskey starts flowing. We play a few games of pool, and then the bar owner comes in and tells us they’re closing up soon. Locks the door and what not. So we get another round of drinks, smoke inside, and finishes up our pool game. We don’t pay our tab, because there is no tab. Free drinks winz.

From there we move on to Bugsy’s in Junction City. I had been in this bar once before and it was about as quiet as it was this night as well. But I like bars where only me and a handful of people are in it. So it worked. I made fast friends with the bartender (7A from now on. she has that tattooed on her). Apparently we were seperated at birth. 7A is cool

So we drink and bullshit and 7A asks me if I’ve ever had a Red Headed Slut. I laugh and say of course so she pours us, including herself, a shot. I ask her “How much do I owe you for this?” and she waves her hand and says nothing. I continue to drink like this for the rest of the night.

From the Red Headed Slut forward my memory gets a bit hazy. I know I started a game of pool with a hot guy who liked the Reel Big Fish song I had put on the juke box. I’m fairly certain I got disgusted with my playing abilities and decided I was better suited to drinking than to trying to actually achieve anything.

I don’t know how I got home. Jimmy Says that mike drove us home. He thinks.

I don’t remember leaving. But 7A texted me three times asking where I was going, and if I’m still alive. (yes I got her # haha)

I don’t remember taking my shoes off or climbing into the bed couch my sister made for me. My sister says I opened the door, saw her and was like “OH HEEEY. I’m fucking drunk.” then passed out. Sounds right.

So I would say night one was a success. Undeniably. Time to find something fun for day two.

.

It’s amazing how one moment everything is as it should be and the next the sky is gold and the rain falls from the ground up. I would have thought that after living through everything I have and losing so much so quickly would make me prepared for something as tramatic as a death. At this point it should be a tune I’m very used to dancing to. Except that no matter who you are, and no matter how familiar you are with loss, some things you never expect to lose.

The pillars in our lives sometimes seem to have an immortal cast to them. Even when you can see the cracks and fractures, you believe they will never crumble and they will always be there to support you. You find comfort in their worn contours and their familiarity will always be there.

My grandmother died friday morning.

This is the woman who used to protect me from my older sister when I was little. She used to let me help her put together jig saw puzzles. Well, I just put the sides in one pile and then similar colors in others.. but still. She let me. She would share her squirt with me and listen to me when I made wild guesses to questions I didn’t know on Wheel of Fortune. I’m pretty good at that game now. She’s the one who introduced me to liver and onions and in that moment I realized that I would never know if I liked something until I tried it.

She’s the one who I lived with when I was in elementary school. Eighth grade. Highschool. She’s the one who forced me to eat vitamins and got me sunny d in a can to take with me to school. She’s the first person I rode in a taxi with. She loved the biscuits from KFC as long as they were the hawaiian kind. I didn’t like them, but I ate them, because she liked them. She’s the one who bleached my hair for the first time when I was 13.

When my sister went to Oregon for my cousin Jennifers wedding, but I couldn’t (because I was too little) she agreed that I could go everywhere with her while my sister was gone. I thought I had gotten the lions share of that deal. I remember her never wearing her seat belt in the old beater black truck she had, but putting it over the shoulder of one of her arms. I remember the twinkle in her eye and her dirty jokes. The stories that if anyone else had told you, you wouldn’t believe, but you knew she wasn’t lying.

I remember going to her crying and her always making me feel better. She always shared her cinnamon candy with me and it is still one of my favorite things in the world. I remember her telling me and my sister we could pick one thing out of her Avon horde in the garage when we were little and I picked some weird ugly neon green hooty hoo owl. I lost it two days later at school.

She will always be in my heart but I fear my mind will be my worse enemy because everyone knows that memory fades. Will I remember the sound of her laugh in a year from now? Ten years from now?

She was one of the most amazing, intelligent, spiritual, and strong women I have ever known. I know that I will never meet her match. She helped shape me into the person I am today and for that I have to be grateful to whatever god or ghosts there are. I was one of the lucky ones who got to know her. My children wont be.